Posts tagged family
Growing up is weird.
Mar 8th
My sister {Teresa} and I have never really been close because of the age difference between us, but I’ve always looked up to her and wanted to be like her. When she moved away to college it was really weird. It was almost 10 years ago now but I still remember wandering around the halls and in her room, remembering that time we played BS, when she used to babysit my brother and me and I would run away. When she moved back home last year to save up to buy a house with her now-husband, I was really excited. I thought that we would be able to spend time together and maybe get closer, since now we could relate more. Well, it turned out that we were both really bust and that never happened, and tomorrow she’s moving into her new house. I’m really happy for her, I know she’s been working really hard for it. But suddenly I feel twelve years old again, wandering the house, missing my sister and feeling lonely. Luckily her house is about a 15-minute drive away and we can still see her often, not like when she went to college in northern California. Next December she’s getting married, too (a formal celebration, her current marriage is for legal purposes only… it’s a long story).
I know we had to grow up sometime, but it feels like I’m not ready for it.
Sometimes it’s not in the plans.
Jan 25th
Sunday night after I had gotten into my cute VS pajamas, Mike IMed me and said his parents were heading back up to the hospital after one of his aunts called, adding that he would be following them shortly. His aunt made it sound pretty urgent that everyone get there right away, Grandma Mary was doing very badly (her heartbeats per minute [BPM] could not get above about 45) and the doctors didn’t expect her to make it through the night. It wasn’t the first time they said this though. I offered to go with Mike for moral support and he took me up on the offer, so I got back into my jeans and drove out to meet him somewhere so we could drive up together.
Once we got to the hospital I found that Mike’s mother’s ENTIRE family was there. She has five sisters, and every one of them was there with their significant other, their kids, and their significant others. Everyone was looking very grave and crying, and one look at Grandma Mary let me know why. She had no strength at all and could barely nod her head. She was heavily sedated and we could tell by the glossy haze in her eyes. Mike couldn’t bring himself to talk to her and we spent the next two hours at her bedside, Mike staring at the heart monitor, willing the numbers to go up, and me standing next to him, feeling completely useless and invisible.
Judgmental?
Jan 13th
The week after my nephew Aiden was born, I put a picture of him up on my desktop at work. A coworker asked me if it was nephew and I said yes, my sister just had a baby, beaming proudly. Her next question seemed innocent enough at first, but upon reflection it bothered me more and more.
Lady: “So, is your sister a lot older than you, or is she just a really young mother?”
Me: “Oh, she’s a lot older than me. She’s 36 and has 3 other kids.”
Lady: “Oh.”
At first I didn’t think anything of her query, but then I got to thinking, “Wait, why would she ask a question like that?” She knows I’m 20, and that’s old enough to have a sister that isn’t “a lot older” than me that could have children. It wouldn’t be unusual to have a sister that’s 25 or 27 or so and having a baby, which is the usual age for women to have babies I suppose, and I don’t consider it “a lot older” than me. As for the other part, I am just curious why a person would even ASK if she’s a “really young mother?” If that were so, wouldn’t it be reasonable to assume that perhaps it is a touchy subject that I would not feel comfortable with talking about with strangers? Was she going to be judgmental if I DID reply that I had a teenaged sister that just had a baby?
I don’t mind that she asked about my sister since I invited it by putting up a picture on a computer we share one day of the week. But her manner in asking was a little presumptuous and disrespectful, in my opinion. I guess I’m not too upset by it; she comes it on Tuesdays, which is usually my day off, so I rarely see her.
Am I being silly or do I actually have a point?
